2020: The Year Of My Dreams…What?
Did I Really Just Say That?
You’re probably thinking Sierra, are you completely oblivious to the happenings in the world this year? How could you possibly say this is the year you’ve been waiting for? Well it’s simple, 2020 may have been one of the scariest and craziest years that many of us have experienced so far, but it’s also the year I finally stepped out and let go of my fears to become happy.
Life Of An Introvert
You see, I am an introvert. For some of you who know me you may be thinking to yourselves that statement is entirely accurate, and for others you may be thinking no way she’s always seemed so up beat, excitable, confident even. But the truth is since as long as I can remember I have struggled with anxiety, finding a purpose, and feeling like I could fit in. I constantly have difficulties with:
speaking in front of groups
settling into a work day
completing a task outside of my routine
making phone calls
meeting new people
Just to name a few.
Being Held Back By Butterflies
If you have read my first blog post you will know that at the beginning of the year I was in training to be a flight attendant and even started working before the pandemic hit. The experience was amazing. I met some wonderful people, got into a job that actually excited me for the first time, and I took a step out of my comfort zone. All the feelings and accomplishments one is supposed to feel in this life. The thing is it wasn’t as perfect and fitting as that all sounds. This training had me read in front of others time and time again, and perform multiple drills while the whole class watched, giving me butterflies and causing me to feel nauseous for the entirety of the training, which lasted a month. By the time I began the job I would be woken up by my alarm which would automatically make me uneasy, and I would then walk into work with a pit in my stomach and a lump in my throat. It didn’t matter that I had already made that same walk through security and to my gate countless times before. Being an introvert, it doesn’t matter how many times you are placed into a situation or how many times you complete the same task, those feelings of constant worry, judgement, and failure stick to us like glue.
A Chance To Breathe
So suddenly being laid off with nowhere to go, no imminent responsibilities, I felt the biggest weight lift from my shoulders. I could now wake up when my body told me, not my phone. I could set goals for the day that I had complete control over, not be controlled by someone of higher stature than me. Many people were put into a depression by the insanity that was this year but I was so fortunate to be able to crawl out of mine. 2020, the year I’ve waited for my whole life.
Once In A Lifetime Opportunity
If this had been just another ordinary year on Earth I never would have started this journey. With the constant battles I fight in my head from being introverted, I would come home from school or a job completely exhausted with no motivation for any hobbies or goals. So to be able to take a step back from the real world and find time for myself has been such a blessing. I may not be gainfully employed, but I certainly don’t feel “poor” and in the dark anymore. I have finally stepped foot onto my true path and at last I feel like my heart can rest, my stomach can settle, and my mind can clear. An introvert’s dream!
Can You Relate?
If you are also an introvert, suffer from anxiety or depression, or feel like your passions and happiness are out of reach, I encourage you to reach out to me and we can chat! My business may be to sell photos and travel the world but my goal is to start an Escaping Monotony community where likeminded people can share their stories and experiences. So shoot me a message, follow my socials, keep up with my blog, and share this all with your friends to help me turn Escaping Monotony into a brand for everyone! Let’s do this!
Until next time ☺️